Kite

Does it matter?

Have you ever try to do something to make someone happy and in the end they are not that happy as you think they are? Yup, i tried but.. well... not going to say anything. Aleast they are little bit happier then if i never do anything at all.

I just notice that,
people who know me for very long
is starting to see what is good about me.
or maybe they know but they dont say.

BUT...
That is really bad,
for these people who only know me little,
who dont understand me,
I hope they will do soon
therefore i am going give up my quiet mouth.
force myself to learn to talk

I feel less and less connected with you.. esp now aday you are always offline. There seems to be no probem but in my mind there is so much problems...

- Alot of things can be fun if you put in your part being active and in your mind tells you that you want to have fun.

Sorry people!

I am very busy now..
So i going to give up updating my blog at the moment.
or i should say I am to busy to complain about my life AT THE MOMENT.

but i still be updating my portfolio page once in a while.
drop by when you are free~

werid dream

so weird sia...
in the mrt
i was bleeding
no one was looking at me
i stand up
the sit have alot of blood on it
i look around no one was looking
no one seems to care
then i turn to my bag
and take out out tissue to clean it
then women a push me and sit on it
then i was about to scream
i woke up....

seems like it's telling me something..
but i dun understand at all...
Feels like there is something i am scare of
but i have no idea what was it...

Chinese new year

yup... happy new year,
all so happy... dono why..
laugh laugh laugh, eat eat eat, ask ask ask,
everything seems to be more then what i can handle...

kind of tired to answer everyone the same questions.
1st house: Where your BF? eat? eat? this very good!
2nd house: Never ask your BF come ar? This one nice, eat!
3rd house: Where your BF ar, ask him come lah let me see see ma...
4th house: where your bf, why never come, ask him come ma, if not tml also can, how old is he, what he do, use computer one is it, oic then do what one ar , pay good anot, where he work, near where, is it near the dono what place, you also work near is it, where ar, blah blah...
( I should do a FAQ for CNY... )
( I wonder do they really want to see of just wanna ask... )


i dun understand why,
They wanna force me to eat when i said "i am full" 3 times then they rest for 5 mins then ask again "come eat lei~" then another 10mins "come lah~ eat lah~"=.= then took a just 1 spoon full rice to eat.. to stop then from asking me to eat.

After one full day of that rubbish... i fainted sleeping at grandpa house.
never play cards like last year... just got really sian of it lei... the kids is like jie play with meeee. ( kids who does that just turn me off with the "meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" or the "pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee") it's so stupid and time wasting... (i know watching TV also time wasting... )


then...........

i still feel so suckie...

Still got ppl say still look like a kid...
just grabbing a sweet to eat make me look like a kid!?
I don dun understand...i mean you ask me you eat?...
maybe i should just sit there and watch TV.
even though i try to grow up in so many ways...

My old frens.... i dun feel i click with them anymore... or i should say in the 1st place i dun click and i try to click... and turn out that i dun like the places they go to or do...)

why is it so hard to ask someone to stay and pei me.?
Why everything i do right another problems comes up?

Each time i smile, it take more and more energy. someone tells me... treat people how you want people to treat you, if you treat then nice they will also treat you nice.. BUT i dun seems to have that... they take it for granted, take it, forget it soon after that... ( well i dun blame them, the problem must be in me if it happen more then once with different people...)

why am i always alone at home...?
Does anyone know i am scare?
Does anyone know how many times i have cry?
scare of being alone, in the dark, some weird sounds from somewhere, lizard, lights spoils, phone calls which no one answers....
blasting music, stay in my room, dun answer call wait... for them to come home...
well i think i have gotten used to it liao. still somethings... still scare...

I shouldnt be left alone and I DUN WANT TO....