TeaLady Blog

Kite

2010-05-22T17:53:00.001+08:00

Does it matter?

2010-05-20T23:01:00.003+08:00

Have you ever try to do something to make someone happy and in the end they are not that happy as you think they are? Yup, i tried but.. well... not going to say anything. Aleast they are little bit happier then if i never do anything at all.

I just notice that,
people who know me for very long
is starting to see what is good about me.
or maybe they know but they dont say.

BUT...
That is really bad,
for these people who only know me little,
who dont understand me,
I hope they will do soon
therefore i am going give up my quiet mouth.
force myself to learn to talk

I feel less and less connected with you.. esp now aday you are always offline. There seems to be no probem but in my mind there is so much problems...

- Alot of things can be fun if you put in your part being active and in your mind tells you that you want to have fun.

Sorry people!

2010-04-22T01:58:00.003+08:00

I am very busy now..
So i going to give up updating my blog at the moment.
or i should say I am to busy to complain about my life AT THE MOMENT.

but i still be updating my portfolio page once in a while.
drop by when you are free~

werid dream

2010-02-20T19:01:00.002+08:00

so weird sia...
in the mrt
i was bleeding
no one was looking at me
i stand up
the sit have alot of blood on it
i look around no one was looking
no one seems to care
then i turn to my bag
and take out out tissue to clean it
then women a push me and sit on it
then i was about to scream
i woke up....

seems like it's telling me something..
but i dun understand at all...
Feels like there is something i am scare of
but i have no idea what was it...

Chinese new year

2010-02-16T22:30:00.006+08:00

yup... happy new year,
all so happy... dono why..
laugh laugh laugh, eat eat eat, ask ask ask,
everything seems to be more then what i can handle...

kind of tired to answer everyone the same questions.
1st house: Where your BF? eat? eat? this very good!
2nd house: Never ask your BF come ar? This one nice, eat!
3rd house: Where your BF ar, ask him come lah let me see see ma...
4th house: where your bf, why never come, ask him come ma, if not tml also can, how old is he, what he do, use computer one is it, oic then do what one ar , pay good anot, where he work, near where, is it near the dono what place, you also work near is it, where ar, blah blah...
( I should do a FAQ for CNY... )
( I wonder do they really want to see of just wanna ask... )

i dun understand why,
They wanna force me to eat when i said "i am full" 3 times then they rest for 5 mins then ask again "come eat lei~" then another 10mins "come lah~ eat lah~"=.= then took a just 1 spoon full rice to eat.. to stop then from asking me to eat.

After one full day of that rubbish... i fainted sleeping at grandpa house.
never play cards like last year... just got really sian of it lei... the kids is like jie play with meeee. ( kids who does that just turn me off with the "meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" or the "pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee") it's so stupid and time wasting... (i know watching TV also time wasting... )

then...........

i still feel so suckie...

Still got ppl say still look like a kid...
just grabbing a sweet to eat make me look like a kid!?
I don dun understand...i mean you ask me you eat?...
maybe i should just sit there and watch TV.
even though i try to grow up in so many ways...

My old frens.... i dun feel i click with them anymore... or i should say in the 1st place i dun click and i try to click... and turn out that i dun like the places they go to or do...)

why is it so hard to ask someone to stay and pei me.?
Why everything i do right another problems comes up?

Each time i smile, it take more and more energy. someone tells me... treat people how you want people to treat you, if you treat then nice they will also treat you nice.. BUT i dun seems to have that... they take it for granted, take it, forget it soon after that... ( well i dun blame them, the problem must be in me if it happen more then once with different people...)

why am i always alone at home...?
Does anyone know i am scare?
Does anyone know how many times i have cry?
scare of being alone, in the dark, some weird sounds from somewhere, lizard, lights spoils, phone calls which no one answers....
blasting music, stay in my room, dun answer call wait... for them to come home...
well i think i have gotten used to it liao. still somethings... still scare...

I shouldnt be left alone and I DUN WANT TO....

Ruin my mood

2010-01-01T22:30:00.006+08:00

Had a great time but mom and dad seems to ruin my mood after that...
I went home at about 7am... So tired... But got to install dad new printer till 10am...my eyes barely can open sia... I hope my dad dun get cheated.. for the printer... he always pays extras or bought the wrong stuff...

dad wanted to to lie to mom that about the new photo printer that the photo printer is's my company one. he thinks i am a idot that i dun know he bought it and told me that it's his friends lent him de.... i know that if i tell mom they will fight but then why did dad have to lie to me too? and pull me into this too?

i dun understand why i have to do this... sometime mom too wanted to me lie to her frens that she is not at home. or she was busy with "something" etc... i forgot to lie and mom was angry with me? what the hell?

when i am young they teach me to be true and honest. well i did and now? Why is like this?
it's so sad for such little things like that... What is my parents teaching me!? to lie and hid? i am so piss!

I am even more angry that this afternoon.. dad woke me up, told me to eat dinner...okie sleeps for a while more and woke up.. well.. the table is empty..i wonder.. mom say she clean up cos i dun like to eat fish. oh so.. you cooked for dad and yourself....while...i dun have dinner!? just because i dun like to eat fish? so i dun have dinner? what is she thinking?? well.. just cook noddle and eat...

i really feel my mom is too much...
she was at home the while day... and never wash clothes never hang the washed clothes let them just stink in the clothes waster... then my dad, dun dare to scold my mom... scold me the moment i reach home from work, for not washing clothes and hang them... i dun see the logic... my brother was playing pC there... and nth happen to him.... =.=

ones i thought i got a happy family...but seems like something is wrong now... is it me? who did something wrong or i din't do that's why is like that now? ... i am so tired... i wish someone is here to hug me tight and cry in his arms. i really got not to say any more...

Merry Christmaz!

2009-12-25T15:56:00.003+08:00

Zap Zap... (It's a messy one.)

it's just another a new beginning chapter...
I am always trying to do understand people... and i dun understand why some people dun have to put in so much effort like I do but can have so many good frens...? well... sometimes being to be accepted in the group is one of my life greatest... Happiness~

Had a CRAZY party in the office,
Joy and laughter and for the 1st time,
i felt what is the meaning of Christmas,
it's like thanks giving day...
People starts giving "love"
People starts spamming "thank you".

Meet up with sec frens for Christmas,
Given and received lots of Gifts,
and best of all Morby was there.

this Year
Life suddenly seems so wonderful...
I felt that i have gotten too much
that i dont know how to give it back

Publish Post

Too lucky to have so much love

Never love to be the center of attention...
For one i kind of like it...
For a while..

it's kind of sad...
when you help someone but
they dun even try to help themself.
when someones tell you "I dun care"
about someone who is your fren...
when someone who is your one of your
most impt fren who just take you for granted...
just like a post it note... use only when needed
and when they are done just throw.

2009-11-30T01:10:00.003+08:00

I am so buzy to blog now adays.
Hahaha!

Gone forever

2009-11-01T20:21:00.002+08:00

My great grandma is gone ytd night. 90+ years old. When she was in the hospital this few weeks... she pray to mary and said "Please don take me away."

Alot of things i remmebers...

How cute she was
How contented she was
How she enjoys her simple life
How she try not to give people trouble. (Like when she is sick, people will need to make time to visit her. she cry and feel very sorry.)
How she got to deal with her children that gone before her
(i can't imagine having a kid and watch them grow up and die cos of old age and i am still alive. wonder what kind of feeling is that.)

Best wishes for her after life...

How warm it was.

2009-10-31T20:37:00.000+08:00

I will remmebers

Just wanna share this.

2009-09-30T16:28:00.007+08:00

http://zemotion.blogspot.com/2009/09/my-education.html

Something she said:
"attaining a diploma doesn't mean I'd retain the knowledge from school any better if I hadn't bothered to study at all. Without that piece of paper, what I'd learn was already mine, and wouldn't be taken away from me."

Well.. after i have gradated from RP and work i have learn a lot of things. From.. drawing and design.... designers style (not everyone have the same style got to respects them too even if it is ugly in your eyes.), working attitude, handling your client/boss, etc... these will not be taken from me... I have grow up....but i am not happy about what i have learn and i want more. I have no idea of what's "MORE" do I want. That is also the reason why i quit my job... i want to feel to be feel fulfilled and earn a title of Graphic Artist and shout with confidence at the end of the day.

Even now if ppl ask me what do I do... I even i told them i am a graphic artist or designer.. I dun even believe myself... even if many ppl says "Jas your drawing very nice..." "your portfolio is one of the best i have seen..." "that was fast.." "this so cute...". I always have dun believe what they say... There is always so many people out there in Singapore that is better then me... e.g. morby even lisa too (she is one of the many people i look up to). I just feel that i have not reach the level that I want to be consider as a artist or designer.

end of the day what do i really wan?
to draw? I like it.. but there is a lot things to worry about. that is stopping me...
to design? can earn a steady income which i am happy with.

This two choices is giving a headache... that make me lost... but now... i think I wan to draw. I want to draw cute, sweet and meaningful stuff. One day, i will able to use it to earn a living for myself...

This or that?

2009-09-29T22:53:00.001+08:00

hiaz...
No choice also problem...
Got choice also problem...

Dono which one good or better

Ahhh GONE. NO MORE!

2009-09-18T23:02:00.003+08:00

My cup was missing...
for a very long time...

Then finally I questioned my mom.
mom broke it and sliently throw away!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I cant even see it's last face!
Then she commented
"cup so too big, waste space"
"It's not a big deal what"
and more...

=.=
it's a birthday gift from a fren lei.
What the hell...

NDS skin

2009-09-17T00:02:00.002+08:00

Ahhhhhh!
Can anyone buy this.
or just tell me where to buy!
so cute!

http://samurai-kitty.blogspot.com/2008/01/ds-lite-skins.html

8 online!?

2009-09-09T02:19:00.005+08:00

For the 1st time I see so many ppl online. woot.
It just make me happy for 1 sec. lol

Went out the WHOLE DAY!
Kind of kana scam by my cousin. (i hope she dun read this. lol) Next time i got kids, i will say go go and scam auntie Ning. Ya.. still kind of relax for a day...and in some ways I got my feel back
kind of motivated liao. I guess I am stay at home for too long, so loney till I siao liao.

Anyway... i just updated my portfolio header, hopeful it looks more professional lah. Jst to make sure I do something tml here I have to say it here "Will post something new tml! watch out. Well if i dun someone please kill me! Whahaha" Hopefully will show I am good ok!! haha.

Things seem turning better

2009-09-02T01:01:00.007+08:00

Sweet my blog is working now... I can finally rant and shit.

I am so relieve so how that I had leave that place for good. Only 3 months! I am so much richer than before! lol. I used to think that I am still the way I am when I left RP. But the things HE "advice" me before i left... really made me feel that I have grow up in someways... alot of thinking. I have meet bad and the good, just that not the worst one.

People give you crap, you give them crap. simple math right? lol. Anyway, real reason is I very unmotivated! Very sian of the job scope.

Very proud of my website mockup, really look good. Just abit of things I still not happy with... cos no time liao.. so got to do with it. It's really something I can do it. Just that I always dun have confidance! If I get it I am going to workhard and smart! No more kana bully and No more blur blur... Roar!

Some thoughts...

2009-08-16T19:08:00.001+08:00

I always ask myself what am I doing?
I should do this do that. but when that day comes.
it's takes so much of me, and something just pull me back.
I am always so blur, don't know what is happening.
my life is also like that.. blur blur lag lag
and well life still goes on...

everytime bad things happens, someone will help me. I am so dump lucky but then dono when will it use up.

Somethings like work, I dun trust myself doing it. I know I will srew up. and... i dun have a choice, still have to do it check things that may happen and recheck again. end day still another thing related scew up. haiz. I hope I can be depend-able. sometimes i feel something is wrong with me. people around me always saying i cannot i cannot like this can not like that. What is hell is wrong with me!?

The working world is never so colourful as it is thought from my school days. To me it's a hole.

I dono why maybe is this job or what this few month, very lonely, very tired. I can feel that my engery going to run out soon. Met angez a few days a go and got a a bit recharge from her. She just had too much engery. lol
think. She talks non-stops. haha. I really go out more.

no one is at home most of the time and i had no one to talk to or share my things with...sometime i go home i just stare the the wall for some time or just stare at the TV for 5mins then notice i never turn on. lol. I am going crazy! sometimes i will keep checking my HP hoping for new sms. do you know, just a little sms asking jas thing or what jas will be happy for sometime. as if i got my 1st phone, 1 sms from someone. lol. Maybe i just wan to talk to someone who listens to me and react to me. NO. i really need someone.

A few thing I will want to do,
to get back my life, feeling and grow up!

August 4, 2009

2009-08-03T22:19:00.000+08:00

Virgo
You may be called upon to attend social functions or group-related activities (conventions or business meetings) in connection with your vocation. You prefer working in collaboration with others, rather than alone. As a result you may be drawn into a partnership or work in close association with groups of people.

That's my reading tml.
Mmm... let's wait and see.

Work eat work eat play slp.

2009-07-10T20:23:00.002+08:00

go home, alone at home... talk to computer...
and now even singnet not helping me with weak net...
for come reason it's stress...
everyday like that... lonely sia...
I just feel like i should change something...
Should I change my job?? or talk to my boss??

Need someone with energy around me... like angez kind...haaa...

oh well.

2009-06-20T01:11:00.006+08:00

Quite happening
I am sort of high today!

I rush a work for client and he was so happy
on the phone he was sort of like "fast lei" "you are good"
and i recevied a thanks you mail from him.
Cheers! (I guess this job not that really bad after all loh.)

and then...
I rename files wrong again!
well.. my boss laugh at me.
i lost count how many i did rename wrong
i guess i made his day, he laugh alot today
his golden words were "When you grow up, you will understand more . XD"

and hor...
ate a good meal, with someone hottie today~
bought a brown cover book, smell like good book, the paper is nice loh so smooth~
i still got alot of blank book not use yet... lol...

when i woke up today...
mmm.... i was thinking or making my own book.
just suddenly have the "i want to do it!"
but hor... how sia... maybe i ask one of my boss.

i MISS...
my mom's ham and egg breakfast, ba-ku-teh soup and so much more... why dun she cook? sometimes i eat outside food till so sian...I just skip dinner... it's salty and so little veg. How to eat sia...

Something to

2009-06-15T22:56:00.003+08:00

Momo & Pon

Shoes

2009-06-04T23:12:00.005+08:00

http://www.okabasia.com/
looks good for wet feets.
Wah... So ex... loh.
unless i earn like 2.5k per month I will buy.

http://www.okabasia.com/shop/index.php/catalog/product/gallery/id/1107/image/678/
Black Shoe with black ribbon
Nice loh.

It's the begining..

2009-05-31T00:17:00.006+08:00

I can feel the luck is coming, hope it dun stop.
Found a job starting work on 1st june.
and i won logo contest on 99designs.com.
in USD$. woot. nice. (For that I owe cheryl 1 good meal. haha)

Still got to tahan till july, till then all the best to me.

So much better now.
Thanks for all these encouragements, help, ask and these just sit there and listen me rant about everything. Naming Angez, bi, lisa, ping, shan, lyanna and these random ppl who I never talk to or have not idea who... said jia you to me. i never know i was loved so much. XD

mahjong

2009-05-15T17:52:00.001+08:00

We were so bored.

my portfolio~

2009-05-15T02:27:00.005+08:00

1) I am going to do more logo contest
2) make some fake' design for my portfolio.
3) look at how ppl do there portfolio online then learn.
4) i am going to throw alot of new things in my online portfolio.
5) then mass apply for jobs again.

if dont work... repeat step 1 to 5 again till success.

I want to work! x 10000times.

2009-05-12T00:14:00.006+08:00

dad ranting at me everyday...
things f... not good...
hanging on the line now.

So much I want to win that contest.
it's going to least me a month or a while!

haiz....

job?

2009-05-07T23:19:00.003+08:00

just went for interview.
It's a nice comapany, i love that place!
I hope I can make it.

so now...
just wait for a few days
glue my phone on my shirt.

cheers!

Spam!

2009-05-04T00:15:00.003+08:00

I am spamming everywhere to get a job,
I have to be thick skin loh....
spam emails.
spam contest.
spam msn.
spam forum.

I hope I am not disturbing ppl. :P
I will live out of this poor poor life!
I must!
Cheers!

Oh I should provide more different style of artwork to show my ability..?

thank you for reading!
goodie night.
Ashiwa.

I am so great.

2009-04-30T01:48:00.001+08:00

Self motivations.

*I need a job.* x 1000 times.

I use to.......

2009-04-25T01:48:00.002+08:00

wish I dare to sent out
wish I have the skill
wish I speak up

No longer a wish,
it's gonna be a goal to work toward.
Jas, you can do it!

Family photo +2

2009-04-22T13:35:00.002+08:00

Finally a family photo.
@ my mom birthday.

it's a joke

2009-04-12T17:12:00.003+08:00

Little idea everyday.
Think simple act simple.
Just enjoy the show.

I love you

2009-04-12T01:51:00.002+08:00

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love youlove you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

without full stop
it's never ending . . .
I just simply love you*

Just need a little more care.

2009-04-02T01:08:00.003+08:00

Don't know why...
but everytime i see my mom and dad fighting
they are so cute...
and I just notice...

When my mom scold my dad for playing his dvd for very long. It's not because she is angry or thinks my dad is wasting his time.... it's because she need wants my dad to stop playing that DVD thing and talk to her more. She is just lonely.

When my mom scolds my dad for sleeping late. It's because she wants someone to hug her in bed... maybe the weather is cold.

When my mom scold my dad for not comming home early. She wants my dad to rest more and not overwork.

So when you think if someone scolds you. They dont really mean it.. maybe it's something else they need... I should talk to her more.. makes me understand things...

Random

2009-03-30T18:41:00.000+08:00

kokoro

2009-03-24T00:25:00.002+08:00

Nice song.
love stoires
http://www.kokoro.com.tw/

Let's walk on and on....

BIG NEWS

2009-03-22T21:55:00.003+08:00

I am growing wisdom tooth!
Arg. very pain... and I dont feel like eating anything at all...
slimming down chance!... lol.

mom says
"I don't have at all..
maybe you are smarter then me. lol."
I am smarter after it pop out, I hope.

Bears

2009-03-22T21:43:00.001+08:00

i just simply love them...

why...

2009-03-21T01:09:00.001+08:00

I am so sad...
But i try to understand...
I hope i can do it someday..
Don't know is it worth it at all..
And i dun have confidence...
I don't know....

stress

2009-03-16T23:51:00.004+08:00

Arg... waiting is
Huge stress
until the 7th apr scan
and the 8th results...

I need a rest...badly..

2009-03-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

To worry over love means you intend to cherish that love

2009-03-14T23:41:00.002+08:00

It's the little things that matters most... 3~

2009-03-13T21:51:00.003+08:00

It's more about being yourself and doing what u want to do.

2009-03-13T00:32:00.001+08:00

Please dun make me feel like i am forcing you.

Feel it?

2009-03-12T02:05:00.003+08:00

I dono how much I miss ...
Maybe yes maybe no...
I dono how much I love ...
Maybe yes maybe no...
I dono I really dono...
I am not doing well to deserve better treatment?
I do know what i want in life...
dun ask me again and again...
I just havnt found the way i want to do it...

NEVER

2009-03-05T22:12:00.005+08:00

NEVER go to shaw tower to print your stuff.
kuku Stupid uncle.
waste my time
waste my energy
waste my money
and still not get anything done
NEVER GO THERE

Some practice stuff...

2009-03-02T00:57:00.005+08:00

OKie.. I am alive again...

this is a quick one..
just wanna try..

Look flat..
Got to work on the shadings.

For some reasons...

2009-03-02T00:54:00.004+08:00

i feel that i did something wrong...
Never knew I ever dare to do it...
what am i thinking!?
it just dun feel right...
arg... i cant change the fact liao...
done is done...
(dont worry i din kill someone. lol.)

=.=

2009-02-19T19:52:00.002+08:00

i gets so angry when i see someone else life
so happy so exiting.
just because mine is boring....
i tried to do make it exiting too
but now i am so tired...
I need a rest... a full time rest...

Get well soon jasmine.
*hugs*

what is love?

2009-02-19T19:51:00.002+08:00

how to feel love?
how to express love?
is love importance?

Please tell me?

This is...

2009-02-08T23:44:00.002+08:00

No one will see this but...
I just feel like doing this...
Failed to do what should be done...

Though there is much laughter...
Silence was there between us...
For the whole time...
In a room filled of people...
One heart was empty and filled with loneliness...
and a bit of jealous...

Send to the dark alone,
One return with nth...
For one felt uncared for...
Hold up everything one could..
Silently behind all followed...
all chat, joke, laugh as if nothing...
One glass of wall to as if...

At last did one...
The face shows no signs...
of happiness one thought...
whole night of emotions out...
shouldn't it... shouldn't it...

I am useless, stupid, slow and deaf...
I may not be better.. but i will try....
There is nothing i does right...
scold me as much as you need...

do whatever you please....
but please tell me... because

.... Silence
and silence is cruel to me.

Happy new Year!

2009-01-03T02:07:00.009+08:00

For a better jasmine! new year resolutions!
10 things I wanna do before the end of next year!

1) Do an animation clip, does not matter short or long as long as is good and i learn something.
2) buy myself a DSLR... I still like photography. (then again should I? or not? it's like just a hobbie... $$... it's so hard to deside T.T)
3) learn to cook something edible (my uncle bought a cookable cooker for me.. dono for what sia... lol. i guess i cant let him down)
4) Save money and go oversea (hope I can... never sit place before sia.. so sad)
5) sleep early everyday to cure my black eye.
6) improve my drawing skill! (aleast with style and look good)
7) make myself famous (lol. how sia. maybe paint something weird and kill myself. lol)
8) work harder, earn more money, make myself more valueable.
9) improve my boobs size to the biggest B cup naturely. (dono how am i going to do it but then ping and lisa say i am chestless! and i dont care i have to do it!)
10) LOVE all my dears, darings and bi more~ (abit general lah..but then will do with it... lol)

2nd day of of new year
spent with lisa, angez and ping~
went to pizza hut but we did not order any pizza. lol
then starbucks coffee, chat about life, work, and BFss lol...
stories from angez, i am shock...
stories from ping, you scammer...
stories from lisa, glad that you are doing well...
feels abit like back to old days...

Okie i blog.

2008-12-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

busy? or just an excuse?
maybe lazy..lol
I dono but lah....
So far so happy so lucky.
okie that's it.

Feelings

2008-11-10T22:14:00.003+08:00

It's 2nd time, on the train....
so much builds up, it rains...
I couldn't control anymore...
as much as i want to hide it...

couldn't hide it anymore..

my eyes, shut tight close...
i only could only hides my mind..
from eyes staring...

i hate myself, angry with myself...
just for being myself...
grow up as much as i can...
to find a better self.......

it's not a poem, it's feelings...

彩虹 on angez blog...

2008-11-09T09:26:00.002+08:00

for some reason...
on the 6th line...
Read it and i cried...
hate myself for so emtional...
yet still wanna hide it... forever...

Good Morning!

2008-11-09T08:04:00.004+08:00

Yup, 8am in the morning... surprise?
four reasons why!

one,
i didn't sleep,
just came home...
(dono why, i knew i should't but... haiz)
two,
got to woke up at 1pm TODAY.
to collect my spree stuff...
too late to change the date..
(haiz x2....)
three,
is very dangerous!
If i sleep now I can't hear my alarm...
four,
i lost my wacom pen, i think
want to practice painting to keep me awoke..
but haiz... therefore i am free now...
but doubt that this can keep me awoke for 3 hrs...

Here goes~
Anyway, last night...
a long chat with friends...
sorry for all the money complain...
hope you all can understand...
maybe i should have postpone to next week...
but i did not... haiz...
sometimes i feel so stupid...
always telling myself...
i should done it another way...
but it always happen when i am halve way through...
50-50 is how i feel...
For the whole night all i did was waited...
for a sms that did not come...
I knew if i sent out something i will get a reply...
but i just dont have the mood to get it out...
I daze a few times and they thinks i am tired...
the more we talk the more i know...
and the more i just dun't wanna think about it...
dun ask me why.. i dono.... what i want that is...
i told my dad something that i should not...
now i am regreting... much...
but aleast it release something from my heart...
less heavy now.... all i have to do is...
wait...and wait...? is this the right choice?
I will only do things that i am confidence about...
so give me that i will return it in my way...
some things are meant not to be say but done...
that is call I care... a little at the same time alot...
and after you have done... dun say it out...
that is call thought... little couple of them build up alot...
but i dun feel it much as i wanted...
dad says a lot but mean only one thing..
He dun like it....i really should have...
what friends really are?
sometimes they bore you with long stories...
and you bored them with your stories...
make you spent alot...
and you make them spent lot...
but when you need help... they really care...
nag at you... when you done something wrong...
free pointing... when you are lost...
that's why they are my treasures...
worth more then anything else...
missing these i hav't meet for a long time...

note: Don't ask questions... some of them are just rubbish to fill time....

wah...
I will stop now...
that is alot of typing...lol.
thanks for reading.. love ya.

Passion.

2008-10-25T00:18:00.003+08:00

Spenting 8yrs making a 7mins 3D film.
www.chrisj.com.au/thepassenger/year1.html
Read it till the end...
it really worth 8yrs.
and the triller..
http://www.chrisj.com.au/thepassenger/movies.html

Short Animations

2008-10-13T00:42:00.004+08:00

There she is part 3.
(my fav, part 2. Song is nice.. choa choa)
http://www.sambakza.net/amalloc/tteotta_main.htm

Cute rabbit
(did they shit or fart!?)
http://www.qbodp.net/index_right_milk.html

(stupid animals)
http://dyrdee.de/nick/

Capcom: Street Fighter IV trailer
(it's like 2007.. i am a year late..lol)
http://www.joystiq.com/2007/10/17/capcom-announces-street-fighter-4/

I finally found the company who did the ad for HP computers
(singapore ads cuts alot sia... #$%#)
http://www.stardust.tv/

do i have nth to do?
too much time spent...
i will go slp for now... lol

2008-10-12T23:24:00.002+08:00

it's a week past...

so fast...

i wonder if i have done much?

Attack of rubik cube.

2008-10-11T02:14:00.001+08:00

2008-10-04T16:03:00.003+08:00

i am still a kid
teach me i learn
tell me i understand
show me i study
remind me i remmeber

Sorting my Thoughts

2008-10-01T17:33:00.005+08:00

A day of holiday...
I have forgotten when is the least time i spent time with myself...
thinking about myself and some other rubbish...

Sometimes i dono what i want...
not really... in fact it's most of the time...lol
that's why i spent alot of time thinking and thinking...
so dont try to get a real answer from me right away...
if you force it... i will just anyhow answer... so dont...
I hope i can be more confident...
I hope i can stop dreaming sometimes...
too much is bad for health..lol

Sometimes i want to do something great...
not really like great but.. at least..
things that ppl cannot do...
things that make my parents proud...
things that make me feel useful...
but i dono what i can do...
"but if i keep drawing... i will find a place where i belong"

When i get my next next pay...
i am going to give mom some money to save or spent if she wants...
but then dad scolded me...
he say" WHY YOU GIVE MOM MONEY!? she will spent on xxxx $#%&*"
(not going into details.. cos is not nice to know..)
I HAVE NO IDEA...WHY!
why he said that... if mom heard it.. she will scream and cry...
why it is wrong to give my mom money when she is not working and not give my dad when he is working...
Anyway... sometimes...it doesn't matter...
maybe I should do something about it...
maybe help my dad pay the water bill or something...
but then again... he don't want.. and ask me to keep it for myself..
... not idea what he is thinking... generation gap??

OMG!
Photoshop cs4 preview is out!
and the coolest "Content-Aware Scaling" I was waiting for!
[List of Features]

OMGx2!
Animation nation 2008 is here!
I wonder what's nice this year...
the list still not out! WAH... can't wait!
it's ex... but if it's nice i will go watch it... XD
http://www.sfs.org.sg/animation/

Randoms.

2008-09-20T00:38:00.004+08:00

I should have gone there... even if it's a while.
you ask a question, now you make me worry.
I hope I get my pay comfirmation rise soon.
When can I can really starts doing things I love?
Why... why lei... How I ask for things I want?
cube... is a crazy game.
how interesting can tml be?

To East coast

2008-09-07T01:30:00.003+08:00

I broke a record again.
for the first time EVER...
I rode a bike for so longgggg and farrrrrr.
if I ride alone,
I will never made it.

Air is good,
sky is clear,
feels refreshed,
but almost wanted my life.

and for now super regret...
my leg is sour... (I need yoko yoko)
my ass is pain... (I need cushion)

bi, still not online.
maybe more dead then me... (eg, the picture above)

2008-09-05T00:00:00.000+08:00

Its the MIRROR that matters,
and see if you can do twice better.

thanks lisa...

2008-09-04T01:08:00.001+08:00

二人一起, 是这种感觉吗？

001

2008-09-02T01:42:00.002+08:00

2008-08-27T23:19:00.002+08:00

Whatever it is...
you can trust RP's IT help desk's website.. lol
ComboFix rock!

At last.. my computer breaths~

interesting day i would say...

2008-08-25T23:02:00.003+08:00

I wore rubber sippers to work...
Only notice it when I was at bugis MRT
(when smsing someone and i look down...)
wahh.....heng no one ask...
(but maybe got ppl notice but never ask...?)
(lol. i dono...nvm...)

msn virus getting more and more loh...
keep gettting ppl sending me "links"

I got a red hard cover book
about A3 size blank papers,
from my uncle...
so big.. i only have one idea...
DRAW~ and ask ppl to DRAW~ with me~
XD

it's a summer event yet it's raining...

2008-08-24T02:19:00.003+08:00

not so fun today at all...
but who knows~
just because someone is there...
to entertain you.. lol
you just forgot about it...

I am going emo tonight....
someone told me there is performce at the sports hall...
"so great"... "SO GREAT".... =.=
ya... you should have told me that...

bon odori, bon odori, bon odori, bon odori, bon odori...
(I am going to sleep with this word in my mind tonight...)
for once.. i love youtube... they have everything... Link

2008-08-23T01:10:00.009+08:00

So glad...but hope I am not draining you...
arg.. I think i should call ping sometime or later.... to book her
hope i will be a good girl and work hard... in the right way...
just change my net to singtel... WOW!
although my wireless runs 54mbps still the same...
BUT! I go youtube and the bar just jumps and jumps!
and i can play imeem without lagging... woot~
WOW. I got nothing to say... cheaper and faster... XD
I should really buy a small table...

2008-08-21T15:37:00.000+08:00

I should be doing something more meaningful now loh...

It's a relaxing day

2008-08-16T01:13:00.003+08:00

bro + bro gf + bro frens + D...
went out walk walk, chit chat, laugh
Really just have fun for a day...
laugh like nobody business...
it just free up my mind...
thanks D... I still remembers the chicken taste...LOL!!!

ya... we should is this once in a while~
laughing is good for health too...
Everyone should do it too...
especially after stressful day... XD

hang it on your hp... (dun think i mind liao... ^ ^)
If ppl ask... just say loh.... XD

work.

2008-08-13T23:50:00.002+08:00

arg... i woke so early for nothing....
yes... nth... (#$%@)
give me hope and then disappointment.
made me wait for the whole day...
all i did can do is smile...
thanks hor...

Sunday, a bloodily happy day.

2008-08-10T23:19:00.006+08:00

If you went to ikea today, you can see two sotong there laughing near the lift... cos they cannot find the exit door! *faints*

Ikea is huge loh!
abit kind of amaze by it... lol
Wanted to buy a super small table for my laptop and wacom
but cannot find what i wanted... sian ar...
why table so expansive one?
almost wanted to buy the kids table...lol
but too short loh... (#$%@)
nvm... next time i go courts!

I am still very high now!
weeeee! Ahhhh!
I broke a record today!
the street lights never been so shiny before...
Super happy loh...!

Spree~

2008-08-10T11:47:00.005+08:00

alot of my worries are gone~
bye bye~
wahhhahaha~
I am kinda of high right now~
lac lac sotong!

ya... later i am going to collect the stuff i bought from taiwan spree...
just 1 more hour to see my clothes!
bought 5 and 2 out of stock! ($#@%)
kuku piggymail takes like years to come sia...(#fact: 3 months)
after waited for so long... haiz....
the designs like not nice liao lei...
see how 1st ba.. maybe i will resell or what...
wah...kapo angez stuff and sell! wahhahaha.

For once, thanks for being there....
aja aja fighting! Work hard together and we will have good future... ^ ^
yup... i going to end this with...."i think i going shit 1st before leaving the house"

I am not happy?

2008-08-06T23:27:00.006+08:00

for the 3rd time i mess up my bath again
ya, this time I forgot to wash my hair...
great... so great...
maybe i am stress
maybe i am crazy

I am not stress...
It's things around me make me feel that way....
or maybe i should just sleep early...
just dun feel like doing anything at all...
i wish i am busy but i am not...
something is wrong with me...
yes i just dono what is it...

i just wanna say I am sorry.

Yes.. I am complicated...

2008-08-04T21:58:00.004+08:00

never did ever understand myself...
never did please myself...
i can't seem to finish my stuff...
it's like never ending.. ing... ing... ing... (echo)

7.21... still waiting for someone....

took mrt home and miss one stop...
took a bath and wash my body two times...
on my com try to surf net without internet...
ya this is crazy...

david askd "Far from home" clip for his 6p... lol
for good or bad example.. does not matter at all!
cos I lost the clip!!! kuku lah... =.=

i don't believe in empty promises....
don't do it if you don't mean it...

Randoms

2008-08-02T03:29:00.001+08:00

I am always lagging....
I have no idea what is stopping me.....
I thought of giving up....
Why am I like this? and not like that?
I should focus and do what I need to do now...
Maybe I should just say.it out whatever it is....
I don't wanna disappoint the person that I respect...
How can one be so understanding and understands me....?
I worried I might hurt hee more then myself......
I failed the sotong test! cos I am a sotong that don't know how to swims...
Angez also failed test! cos she is a duck that don't know how to swims...
What is with the cake was a lie but it was delicious... ?
一个值得爱的人，是可以用一辈子去等待的...?

I am putting all this here...
arg....so much in my head now....
Blah....I better dun think too much...

KEYBOARD DAY

2008-08-01T00:15:00.006+08:00

11/11/08

It's going to be

KEYBOARD DAY

countdown on 1/8/08
99 days more to go!

All hope for the best...

no question to be ask,

Just wait and see.

Movies~

2008-07-30T01:38:00.002+08:00

Dun watch x-files...(I almost fell a sleep sia.)
maybe other ppl likes... but not for me...

I watch batman!
Joker says: If you're good at something, never do it for free.

MSN drawing is back!

2008-07-28T01:40:00.005+08:00

This time it's...
Flower story....
<<click to see

I love this song.

2008-07-26T03:31:00.004+08:00

"Flowerpot"
He is approaching, from a far far far distance,
How am I to express my shaking heart?

#Stole my heart from the very start,
And gave me an illness that I cannot recover from.
I want to become the flower pot,
I pray all the time.

## I want to become a flower pot,
That stands on his small window sill.
Even if I won't be able to say a word,
or expect anything, from time to time,
I'll receive his smile and caresses,
And just watch his sleeping face.
He's leaving very far far far away.
How am I supposed to sooth,
These falling tears?

#Repeat
## Repeat x3

why? why not?

2008-07-24T01:15:00.003+08:00

I once told someone I felt empty inside...
Why I am always not moving on?
Why such a person have such a sad life?
why not everyone understands each other?
why why why never ending why?
but now I don't feel empty anymore...
Cos I know how to be happy and contented with life...
I am full...of happiness...

(Was it good? I hope my English have improved. haha)

What is wrong with me today!?

2008-07-22T09:00:00.001+08:00

Stone stone stone all day
Stare in the air
Stare at the PC
Start ar numbers
Stare at someone

Thinking about somethings like...
Where is my aircon controller?
where are the numbers?
what are you doing?

I am a weirdo..
It does not matter...
I am someone special.......

I bought it!

2008-07-19T19:13:00.004+08:00

NDS
dono for what sia...
for fun i think...
i thought brother for psp...
why not i buy DS loh...

oh.. don't ever ask me I bought how much...
I dont want to feel cheated that is.. haha..

Happy~

2008-07-09T22:20:00.005+08:00

This two days am very happy~

1st,
went to Saatchi & Saatchi office!
Veryyyyy nice loh! Loving it!
Then I went to mikoishi studio!
The place is nice too~

2nd,
I moved and ate with them.
No more that kind of outcast feeling liao.
Yeah! pop pop POP! cheers!

3rd,
maybe we are moving,
somewhere near,
good for me,
haha.

4th,
I got the shopping time feeling.
anyone keen shop??
I am kind of HIGH NOW~
haha.

3 things that made me happy today~

2008-07-07T00:48:00.005+08:00

Finally one day to really rest.
but not really....

1st.
I sat my papa new car for the 1st time.
his boss is good lah...
6 sitter + TV inside. wuuu~

2nd.
1.15pm
I finally collected my stuff I bought online.
It really takes very long to reach here though...
Bought 6. lazy to take pic of all....

3rd.
I cleaned my room.
I only does that when i am really in good mood...
It took me the whole afternoon till night...

2pm, I bring down everything,
wash my new clothes,
clean the whole table,
clean the window,
hang my new clothes,
take a break,
look at the plie of stuff on the floor, "sian ar!"
take a break again,
bring everything back,
mop the floor,
11pm, mom came back from ktv, "wah!"

Found a sticker I bought long ago.
I though my Dick holder may like it...

I am 99% dead tired now.

Cosfest 2008!

2008-07-06T00:48:00.002+08:00

I am took tired to type anything...

Good night!

Ah!

2008-07-03T22:52:00.004+08:00

We ate yuki yaki~
Oishi desu~

Angez's duck face again...ah... the thought "you are mine" came back to me. scary~

Jiemi is drank!

WOW!
Meet the master at work!

let's vote!
whose will you eat?
Jasmine the First timer or angez the master's ice cream?

toy and comic convention

2008-06-29T22:42:00.009+08:00

I was late, tired, happy
and quite sotong ba....
it's a draggie day.
it's so pack with people...

Saw ping and minyi
kind of high...haha.

just go there and take a look around
can say alot of things but not really alot. haha.
Got IFS ( they got artist there drawing), tokidoki (kinda of my fav style) and dollzinc (scary looking dolls)...

People cosplay also. haha. this guy's pose is cute.

only took 2 picture... phone low batt. =.=
Yursi said he is going to spam my blog, yes. Go ahead.

random no. 101

2008-06-28T13:29:00.002+08:00

# ar....thanks you thank you. so nice of you.

# some stuff are meant to say it before it's too late... IdonOtkNOwifIjustkIndoflikeuoRwhatmAybEyOutOojUstdOntdAretOsaYtoo

# I am really a sotong... and I hate that side of me... by the way... what is with the sotong day!?

# It's not the 1st time when I don't want to do it... and you try to make me feel really bad for that. I just don't want to do it so don't say these things to me... I am not that kind of person... and you are making me more angry then making me feel bad.

# If you don't know me. When I say no, mean I really really mean it. Not use even if you try to change it! and if you do mean you don't really know me that well..

2008-06-26T01:20:00.003+08:00

I think I am still a kid.
lots of things to learn and lots of things to do yet.

leaving soon?

2008-06-22T22:21:00.003+08:00

Haiz... it's just really sad....
The 3 angels in my office are leaving soon.
They are really really nice people
who taught me lots of stuff
The though of not having them in the office.
I dono, I can't imagine it at all... I am scare to, I think.

as always... life is up and downs.
I don't what life still can still give me
pang...have a sudden feel of real loneliness...

I though for a long time and ask myself...
I will never know the answer till I experience it?
dream job VS working environment?
I will choose working environment.
cause I see not point, I just want to be happy ba...
May I work towards it!

So tired

2008-06-17T22:18:00.003+08:00

blah....
I am quite bloody sick.

Sunday,
slept the whole day...

Monday,
cant tanhan liao sees Chinese doctor....
doctor says..." you very weak"
I almost thought my life is ending soon
he continues ... " you can not eat "hot" stuff and "cold" stuff...
and so end up eating plain porridge the whole day...

Tuesday,
better in the afternoon when I have things to do...

and now,
my nose like 1/2 close tap water..
wants to come out but don't want to come out...

pang!
sign off.

Four things

2008-06-10T23:36:00.004+08:00

ONE
Arh... I am so lost... People tell me this and that. I don't if they are telling the truth anot. I am so lost that I can't think properly. Pang, bang myself for that.

TWO
and then Haha. Today, I did something that I never did before. lol. My heart, tells me to do it. My mind tells me nothing wrong to do that. and so I did it.

THREE
Hav.... oh i forgot what i wanted to type...

FOUR
Had been dreaming some people lately... abit like shrieen liao... lol. kind of misses RP life and friendssssss. yea, maybe is because of in school you meet alot of different ppl almost every three months.

BUT NOW... I only talk to 5 ppl everyday for the past 3 months.... ( not counting msn, my parents... as I dont talk to them for more then 3 lines and my brother in NS now....) IT'S SO GOING TO DRIVE ME MAD. fact no 2? the 5 ppl are all guys. and they don't talk girls langange. IT'S SO GOING TO DRIVE ME MAD..... =.= Fine will live with my fate....

2008-06-05T21:21:00.004+08:00

Just watch.
Sky of love (movie)
Cry like mad.
ah... feel like a loser.

mom was shock. haha.
Thought something happen to me.
Wuu... I need ice pad.

Office

2008-06-01T13:39:00.004+08:00

The office I am now at. Ya, all guys.

and the two guys.

Random post.

2008-05-29T23:25:00.001+08:00

Must live up to my name!

I am number ONE EVIL!!!!

MUAHAHA!!!

Some drawing

2008-05-19T00:13:00.001+08:00